Don’t be an energy waster!! (Energy series part 2)

Ok, so in my last post which was a part 1 of a 3 part series about energy, I wrote about empaths, gave you some cool science behind our energy, and also told you how to protect yourself from people with negative energy.

Today is part 2 of my energy series and will challenge you to really think about if you’re TRULY giving energy to what you want most out of life.

Here are two simple questions you need to ask yourself.

What (or where) is your energy going to?

Who is your energy going to?

There are no right or wrong answers. However, any answers you do come up with are valuable insights to allow you to determine if you are on the path you are seeking, or if you need to start making some changes.

Your energy should be going into three things;

1. YOURSELF,

2. YOUR RELATIONSHIPS (friends, family, co-workers,)

3. YOUR GOALS/DREAMS.

First and foremost you need to be putting energy into things that make YOU happy. This is your ME time. Exercise, hiking, dancing, coffee with friends, reading, listening to music, having a spa day, playing sports, whatever it may be, you need to do more of that. Don’t make excuses about not having time. MAKE TIME. We all have the same amount of time in a day. If you need to wake up an hour earlier or re-plan your schedule around your kids then do it. I can’t stress how important putting energy into yourself is. You can’t put energy into numbers 2 and 3 if you aren’t putting enough into number 1 first! You should always come first. Put energy into you and watch how much more your energy improves.

Second, think about your relationships right now. This can be with your significant other, your friends, your family, co-workers or all the above. Are you getting what you want out of those relationships? If you aren’t, you may not be putting enough energy into that relationship, OR you’re not giving off any positive energy so your attracting more negative energy back to you. If you want more communication then you have to be the one to start communicating more. If you want more effort being put into planning dates or spending time with friends and family than you have to be the one committed to actually planning that. Don’t give the excuse, well they don’t hit me up so I guess that’s it. Nah, snap out of that. If someone is valuable to you then put in the effort. When the effort becomes too much and turns stressful and draining to your energy, THAT is when you have to cut that person off.

Lastly, your energy needs to be going into your goals and dreams. I don’t care how big or small these may be. Want to lose 10 pounds? Then what are you doing daily to bring you closer to that goal? Did you make a change to your diet? Are you going to the gym? Did you take the stairs instead of the elevator? These all are choices you make where you determine what your energy is going into. Dreams of starting a business? How are you getting closer to that dream? Are you reading books from top entrepreneurs? Asking for advice from people on social media? Researching the steps to market your business? Again, this is where your energy needs to go. If it isn’t, you are wasting it. Very simple.

I find far too often that many people seem to be living in auto-pilot. They fall into a routine and thought process that inhibits growth and without coincidence, unhappiness. There is nothing wrong with routine, I find routines helpful especially if you have anxiety. However, if that routine is not bringing you what you want out of life, or bringing you closer to your goals, then break the fucking routine!

You have every right to chase happiness, but make sure you’re putting forth the right energy into your chase.

Make today the day you start investing in yourself and taking your energy seriously.

I promise you it will be worth it.

Thank you for reading, and thank you for being YOU.

Have a great day. 🤙✌️😎

When it’s time to be selfish

This summer has been amazing.  It’s been relaxing, exciting and fun, with some small periods of stress sprinkled in the mix.  Two bachelor parties out of state, two stags I helped throw, one wedding including the best man’s speech for my twin bro (yes, I have a twin, and yes, my speech was phenomenal), and to top it off, some serious improvements on myself.  Oh yeah.  BIG TIME improvements. To the naked eye, they may not be as big, but to me, they’ve represented a shift in my viewpoint of what being happy truly means.  And you know what that is, being God damn selfish (sorry Mom I know you hate when I curse). Let me explain.

My entire life I have been a people pleaser.  I am a “go with the flow” type person, super laid back, the type to want to just have good vibes and avoid conflict.  Growing up this turned me into a “Yes man”, always wanting to do the right thing, to never let the other person down, to seek that sense of approval.  I think this view also represents the current state of a majority of people who use social media.  We are always seeking some type of validation for our posts, whether its on our main feed, our stories, whatever the case may be.  I myself also fall into this mix, and throughout my adult life, I’ve restrained from some of the posts I may or may not have put because I was afraid that it wouldn’t get that “approval” I was subconsciously seeking.   I don’t know what finally switched, it could have been a variety of factors, but sometime during the last few months, heck even the last year, I started being selfish.  Selfish with my thoughts.  Selfish with my communication.  Selfish with my time. Selfish with what I would say “Yes” too. Selfish with what I would post. Everything.

Here’s what I started to notice.  Freedom.  Freedom from the people who would take advantage of me. Freedom from my thoughts of any self-doubt.  Freedom from the opinion of others.  Freedom from the forced validation and competition of social media.  I started actually LIVING for me. No fear. No competition. Just doing what was right and best for ME. And in doing this, some of my passions that have been “dormant” or almost “hiding” have started to reemerge.  New passion and career paths have started to motivate me to new goals. I’m excited at everything I plan to accomplish within the next five years.

Heck, even in writing this, I feel back to my true creative self. I started this small blog because one I always wanted to help people, but two, because I LOVE TO FUCKING WRITE (sorry again Mom but the “f” word was needed in that sentence). So here I am again, being selfish in not only this blog post, but in how I’m spending my Sunday afternoon. I’m eating a salad, I’m drinking a seltzer, and I’m sharing my thoughts with the world (or to the 20 people who actually decide to read this), and yes, I couldn’t be happier.

Peace be the journey,

-Derek

(Always have to throw in a movie reference) 🤙

Just a normal Sunday, or so I thought…

But if you push that anxiety and fear away for just a few minutes, the universe can surprise you with something special.

The universe works in mysterious ways.  It can truly work in our favor if we let it, and this morning was a perfect example of that for me.

Sunday morning is one of my favorite times of the week.  I sleep in, (which for me, and many other teachers, is to about 8:00 a.m.), then get up and drink a big glass of water.  I perform some light stretches to get my body up and moving then head to the gym where I dedicate a couple hours to mobility work, a full body workout, foam rolling, finished by a quick session in the sauna and hot tub.  This time is amazing for me.  I blast my music and get lost into another world.  Anyone who works out consistently can attest to the addiction of finding and staying in this zone.  What sets today apart is what happened and who I met after my workout was over.

Walking into the hot tub at a gym can be a scary experience for some.  The anxiety of sharing a tub of water and jets with strangers can be pretty intimidating, and I understand that.  But if you push that anxiety and fear away for just a few minutes, the universe can surprise you with something special.

Today as I was walking in the hot tub there was a man already inside, who smiled and greeted me, “hello” as soon as I entered.  I greeted him back with a hello, and a routine, “Nice and hot today!” before sitting down next to one of the jets.  The man continued to talk to me, including telling me his age, 75 years old, and how it wasn’t fun to be old while stating how much pain he is currently dealing with in his back.  If you don’t know me or my story, (scroll up to read “Heart of a Lion”, my first blog post about my health journey), I am also a person who has struggled and still deals with chronic pain.  Instead of writing this complete stranger off, I opened up to him and briefly summed up my health journey.  I then told him about chiropractors, physical therapists, massages, trigger points, mobility exercises, breathing, dry needling, cupping, anything I knew off that helped with back pain I was listing it off to him.  He was very receptive to my advice, and asked questions about people and places I would recommend to get these treatments done.  He went on to state that the only care he is receiving for his pain is from an orthopedic doctor, who is currently prescribing him pain relievers and possibly surgery.  I offered him more advice about seeking these natural treatments first before getting surgery, as I am a big believer that surgeries ultimately cause more harm than good.  (I’ve had four surgeries in my lifetime and two on my knee and shoulder that could have been avoided if I didn’t fall into the hypnotic spell of the orthopedic surgeon and sought other options myself). He was receptive to my advice and assured me he was going to try some of these treatments in the coming month. What he went on to say next is what led me to write this post about this experience.  He looked me dead in the eye, with a huge smile, and thanked me for talking with him.  He told me that countless times in this gym he has tried to start conversations with people and they wrote him off.   We shook hands, formally introduced ourselves with our names, and exited the hot tub.

The entire conversation lasted roughly 10 minutes.  It could have easily been 10 minutes of silence, two men just relaxing in the hot tub, completely oblivious to the world and each other.  But it wasn’t that.  It was 10 minutes of two people being human.  It was 10 minutes of two people connecting.  It was 10 minutes that I am so deeply and incredibly grateful for experiencing today.

As you go through the rest of your day, week, month, I simply ask you to be a little more receptive to what or who the universe drops in front of you.  As I learned today, there are no coincidences.

You’re alive…

Good morning, and happy Sunday! The sun is shining (in Connecticut at least), you’re alive and you’re breathing, life is good.

Sometimes it’s these little things you need to remind yourself to be thankful for. Today was one of those mornings in which I had to do the same.

It’s been a while since I’ve wrote about my auto-immune diseases and even though I’ve made great strides this last year, today was a morning which one hit me square in the face. Last night I ended up eating some small treats, and despite them being gluten and nut free, it had milk and lots of sugar. If you’re not familiar with certain aspects of nutrition, sugar and dairy are the devil for people with auto-immune diseases. They are triggers of inflammation, and can cause flare-ups with certain people depending on how their bodies react to them. This morning as I woke up I knew immediately that I screwed up. My body was so stiff it took me 15 minutes longer to get out of bed. Once out of bed, I quickly saw both the back of my hands, my forearms, arms, and back had a large rash. In appearance it looks similar to that of a heat rash or hives, but for me it was a common symptom with those who have psoriatic arthritis. (One of the two auto-immune diseases I was diagnosed with two years ago).

After dropping the kids off at the pool (get it? 😂) and washing my face I went downstairs and had a large glass of water. (Drinking water right upon waking has tremendous benefits, and I will write a post about that soon). Once finishing hydrating myself I went into my stretching, foam rolling,and mobility exercises. Sunday are my days where I love to go to the gym and devote myself to a full body workout and this morning wasn’t going to stop me from that.

As I went through my workout I devoted more time spent between my exercises actively stretching to keep my joints and body fluid. This past year I’ve been blessed with a great team of chiropractors (Damato’s in Newington, CT) and physical therapists (John Odriscoll at Symmetry in Portland, CT) who have given me the tools and strategies to get stronger while focusing on building the core and maintaining proper form.

Once my workout was over, I hit the sauna, cooled off in the pool, then spent 5 more minutes in the hot tub. This felt great on my body and am so grateful I go to a gym that houses these.

As I’m writing this, my body, especially my joints feel amazing. The rash on my hands, arms and back is almost all gone, and I’m ready to tackle the rest of the day.

The point is, we all have moments where we will have setbacks in life. We can look at them as roadblocks, or challenges, the choice is ultimately ours. I pray that anyone reading this, especially those with auto-immune diseases, to not give up, to keep fighting, and keep winning the day. Remember, you’re alive, and breathing.