Trust the process.
Trust in Gods plan.
Trust in taking things one step at a time.
These are going to be the words to help get me through these next 6-8 months.
Today, April 13, starts that journey of my first surgery in this process, yes first, meaning there’s still more to come. Yup you read that right.
Today I’m getting surgery to heal a fracture in my right foot and get it reconstructed. It’s the first of possibly more down the road.
But before we keep traveling down that highway, I need to take you back a little to August of this past summer, where foot pain in my right foot sidelined me. An X ray showed that the way my foot was shaped was causing a lot of issues and pain, and the doctor at the time thought rehab and training my feet to work correctly would help alleviate some of those problems. Pain would come and go and nothing seemed to give me lasting relief. After three visits to this one foot doctor over the course of 6 months, I asked for another referral to get a second opinion. I went to another foot and ankle specialist who finally told me that I had a big old fracture in the middle of my foot (navicular bone to be technical for you geeks out there 😝) that was missed in previous X rays from August. She also confirmed that the way my foot was shaped, that a reconstruction would make the most sense due to the injuries I’ve experienced since I was a kid as well as provide my foot with the best possibility of preventing any potential future injuries that would have been caused by the shape.
(Cue flashback scene. A foot doctor I went too when I was in 9th grade told my parents and I that I should get foot reconstruction surgery at that time due to my extremely high arched feet or I wouldn’t make it out of high school athletics because of the amount of pain and injuries it would cause me, but my parents and I said no. I think looking back we just didn’t realize how impactful the foot can be on the body. So the doctor prescribed me orthotics and said good luck. As I know now, orthotics arent and weren’t a cure all. They were a crutch or rather a bandaid of what was wrong about my feet. I still ending up playing sports at a very high level despite going through multiple sprained ankles and foot pain throughout my high school and college baseball career. (Ask any trainer how much tape I went through just from taping my ankles in those 4 college years. Every practice. Every game. 😂) I started trying to work on my feet these last two years when I researched on different platforms how the foot and ankle should move and function. It did help. Mine however were still limited. I think all the hiking and trail running I built up to was simply too much for my feet to handle. But thats another story for another time. End flashback).
Get it? “Flash”back. Lol.
Ok back to the original program.
When this new fracture was all confirmed to me in early March, I thought I only was going to need surgery on this one foot. But that same week out of nowhere my left foot started swelling up and hurting too. Definitely overcompensation I thought. When I got the X-ray and catscan done on my left foot and had it analyzed it turned out the same fracture and issues I have in my right foot are present in my left. Same navicular fracture. Same pain in and around my ankle. (Talk about luck right? 😂🤦🏻♂️) Except the doctor did say my arch isn’t as high in my left foot so I may not need the full reconstruction there. (I guess that’s a bright spot right🤔).
So what does this mean? It means after completing surgery to heal the stress fracture and re construction of my right foot, which isn’t guaranteed that it will heal by the way 🤦🏻♂️ (why I’m trusting God and putting it in his hands) I have to pray and hope that it does in fact heal, then rehab it to get it strong enough to walk again. We’re talking 8+ weeks of being in a boot and putting no weight on it. Once I start rehab, the plan is for it to support my body just enough so that then I could come right back to then get surgery on my left foot. (Yay! 😒 This is assuming everything with my right foot goes to plan, heals, and the strength progresses for me to do this. But like I said, trust the process. 🙏.)
Now to put that special final cherry on top of this glorious surgery sundae, during that same week back in March, I also sprained my right shoulder out of nowhere causing inflammation, tendinitis and muscle weakness limiting the use of my shoulder. (I wish I was joking but nah bro this is really my life right now.)
So ALSO during this time, I have to somehow rest and heal my shoulder to hope and pray that it won’t need surgery sometime down the road. (Like God I love you but, couldn’t I just have one injury?! The lower body wasn’t enough you had to take my shoulder too 😭).
See. Michael Scott gets it. Okay okay, that’s it from the negative train I promise.
On that day in March where I found out my shoulder was badly sprained AND I needed multiple surgeries on BOTH of my feet, I legit broke down. I couldn’t make it out of the parking garage without crying my eyes out for half an hour. I then got home and just let it all out some more. I completely let my emotions take over me that day. For me, I needed to really feel them to let me process what is actually happening. Doing this and letting my emotions do it’s part, allowed my mindset to finally shift. (Cue music, I can see clearlyyyy now the rain is gone 🎶). Okay I’m glad you didn’t hear me sing there. But you get the vibe I’m going for. Cool.
For real though. I was now able to look at this from a new perspective of gratitude and start thinking of all the positives that were happening and still present in my life, no matter how difficult or hard it may be to see, our challenges just require us to “look harder”, right Rafiki? 🦁.
This is me looking.
I have a great doctor who’s going to do her magic to fix my feet. I have health insurance that will be able to pay for it. (Fingers crossed it’s for all of it 🤞). I have enough sick time to be able to take time away from teaching to fully recover. I have great people in my corner of chiros, PT’s, and massage therapists to help with my recovery and healing. I have amazing, caring friends and my twin bro who will be there for support. I have food, shelter, clean water, and fresh food. I have a bed, electricity, heat, and internet. (Although it’s not the fastest, 😜 kidding mom.) And to top it off, I have awesome parents who have allowed me to come back home to not only save money for my own future home, but to provide me with the care needed to help fully recover. The list can keep going but I hope you get the gist.
This is still not going to be easy. Not in the least bit. My mental strength is going to be tested, by a LOT. This is going to be a HUGE challenge. I may fall at times, hopefully not literally cus that would be a problem 😂 But the growth and strength that this challenge is going to ultimately provide me with is the fuel that is going to help me stay in a state of faith and gratitude.
I just have to take things day by day, trust God’s timing,
and TRUST THE PROCESS.
So why am I writing this to share?
I’m hoping in writing about my obstacles ahead will help those who are struggling with any challenges in their life right now. I want other people to remember to take things day by day. That they’re not alone. And for them not to be afraid to admit if they’re struggling. That’s one that’s been important for me to understand. I don’t have to do this alone. And neither do you.
We’re a team.
Like the ducks.
& Ducks Fly together. 😝
You know I had to get one last movie reference in there.
As always, sending peace love and healing. 🙏✌️❤️