Don’t be an energy waster!! (Energy series part 2)

Ok, so in my last post which was a part 1 of a 3 part series about energy, I wrote about empaths, gave you some cool science behind our energy, and also told you how to protect yourself from people with negative energy.

Today is part 2 of my energy series and will challenge you to really think about if you’re TRULY giving energy to what you want most out of life.

Here are two simple questions you need to ask yourself.

What (or where) is your energy going to?

Who is your energy going to?

There are no right or wrong answers. However, any answers you do come up with are valuable insights to allow you to determine if you are on the path you are seeking, or if you need to start making some changes.

Your energy should be going into three things;

1. YOURSELF,

2. YOUR RELATIONSHIPS (friends, family, co-workers,)

3. YOUR GOALS/DREAMS.

First and foremost you need to be putting energy into things that make YOU happy. This is your ME time. Exercise, hiking, dancing, coffee with friends, reading, listening to music, having a spa day, playing sports, whatever it may be, you need to do more of that. Don’t make excuses about not having time. MAKE TIME. We all have the same amount of time in a day. If you need to wake up an hour earlier or re-plan your schedule around your kids then do it. I can’t stress how important putting energy into yourself is. You can’t put energy into numbers 2 and 3 if you aren’t putting enough into number 1 first! You should always come first. Put energy into you and watch how much more your energy improves.

Second, think about your relationships right now. This can be with your significant other, your friends, your family, co-workers or all the above. Are you getting what you want out of those relationships? If you aren’t, you may not be putting enough energy into that relationship, OR you’re not giving off any positive energy so your attracting more negative energy back to you. If you want more communication then you have to be the one to start communicating more. If you want more effort being put into planning dates or spending time with friends and family than you have to be the one committed to actually planning that. Don’t give the excuse, well they don’t hit me up so I guess that’s it. Nah, snap out of that. If someone is valuable to you then put in the effort. When the effort becomes too much and turns stressful and draining to your energy, THAT is when you have to cut that person off.

Lastly, your energy needs to be going into your goals and dreams. I don’t care how big or small these may be. Want to lose 10 pounds? Then what are you doing daily to bring you closer to that goal? Did you make a change to your diet? Are you going to the gym? Did you take the stairs instead of the elevator? These all are choices you make where you determine what your energy is going into. Dreams of starting a business? How are you getting closer to that dream? Are you reading books from top entrepreneurs? Asking for advice from people on social media? Researching the steps to market your business? Again, this is where your energy needs to go. If it isn’t, you are wasting it. Very simple.

I find far too often that many people seem to be living in auto-pilot. They fall into a routine and thought process that inhibits growth and without coincidence, unhappiness. There is nothing wrong with routine, I find routines helpful especially if you have anxiety. However, if that routine is not bringing you what you want out of life, or bringing you closer to your goals, then break the fucking routine!

You have every right to chase happiness, but make sure you’re putting forth the right energy into your chase.

Make today the day you start investing in yourself and taking your energy seriously.

I promise you it will be worth it.

Thank you for reading, and thank you for being YOU.

Have a great day. 🤙✌️😎

Living as an “empath” and what you can do to protect yourself from negative energy (Energy series part 1)

Are you someone who lives with a heightened ability to feel what others are feeling?

Are you someone who’s mood can change by who you surround yourself by?

If you answered yes, then you are someone who may be an “empath”.

The definition of empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

What I’ve found, is there are people who do this at a much higher ability than others (often labeled “empath’s”) as well as those in the world who lack it, and often find that those who are able to fully empathize with others, are the ones that get hurt more in the process. If you are someone who is empathetic, this article will provide you an important tool to protecting yourself from unwanted energy. If you aren’t empathetic, I encourage you to continue to read on as you may also learn a tool that can also help you.

What I’ve learned from various research among books, articles, and following spiritual and natural healers on social media, is that about 15 percent of people classify as highly sensitive. Usually, we label these individuals, “empath’s. But that isn’t entirely true. These people are really good at showing empathy yes, but it’s their sensitivity to feeling everything so vividly and deeply, plus at a more intense level than the norm that separates them from everyone else. Often these people are the ones who are always being drained of their energy. They take on the energy of other people, often at the expense of their own harm. Doing this, mostly without fully recognizing it, is harmful to the body also at a physical level. It’s no coincidence that there is a correlation to empaths developing some type of health disorder or auto immune disease in life because of the stress of feeling so much negative toxic energy from others. That is why I became so interested in this topic during the last few months. Learning about myself, understanding I classify as being highly sensitive, and learning how to deal with toxic unwanted energy has been a life saver that I want to pass on so you too can start to heal and protect yourself.

One of the problems is not being fully prepared to “shield” oneself from toxic negative energy. I know you know what it is. For example, have you ever walked into a room where you could sense there was a argument or fight? How did that room feel? Heavy? Weird? Awkward? Sense of unease? Yes, all of that is correct. That is your body’s ability to read energy.

(Sidenote: Without getting too far into left field, the science is that we’re all made up of matter and this matter is simply energy. The words we say and even our thoughts are made up of this energy. Speak positive and thinking good thoughts will have you living life at a higher frequency. Speak negative, complain, and thinking negative thoughts will have you living at a lower frequency. Those people who are living at a higher frequency generally have good health and live a great quality of life. The opposite can be true for those living at a lower frequency. People fluctuate between the two energies all the time. The key is realizing what frequency you are at, change it to a higher frequency, and consistently trying to maintain that.)

So let’s say you work or live in an environment where it is surrounded by people who are living at a lower frequency. (These people can be easily pointed out, they are often the ones that you feel suck the energy right out of you”.) Going into this environment on a daily basis is harmful to your health, but there is a helpful tool that can protect you from this energy!

I’m going to give you a solution that I learned through a book I read, “Energy Healing” written by Kris Ferraro. (She wasn’t the originator, this tool has been around since ancient times and can be found in various books about eastern medicine.) She states that this simple tool to equip you is called “shielding”. Yes, a shield like a spartan warrior would use to protect them in battle. (Or the one Captain America uses.)

What you need to do is imagine a 3 foot bubble forming around your entire body. You really have to visualize it and imagine the shield is building around you. This can be done by first closing your eyes for one minute, and relaxing the body by focusing solely on your breath. Once you are relaxed, on each exhale, start the shield or bubble first extending from your heart. On each next exhale, visualize the bubble getting bigger and bigger until it is fully formed into your protective shield. (I like to think of mine as the ones Wakanda uses to protect their land. Second marvel movie reference in case you’re counting).

Once you’ve done this, the next thing to do is to repeat an affirmation consisting of resisting negative energy, and allowing positive energy in. An affirmation is the state of affirming, or using words to state something exists or is true. Using an affirmation like, “This shield will protect me from unwanted negative energy, and it will only allow positive loving energy in. Thank you for your protection” helps strengthen the ability of your shield.

When you get good at this, you won’t need to breathe and relax and make it a huge process. Saying in your mind or out loud but quietly, “shield up” or whatever else comes to mind will do the trick.

Teachers, this also works with challenging students! Once those students realize they can’t get through YOUR shield, you can start actively attacking their wall with love and guidance that they’ve resisted. But that’s an entirely different topic.

What I’m still learning through this practice is it will take time for your shield to develop its strength. The more you practice and better you get at visualizing, this will greatly enhance the effectiveness of your shield.

Now that you are equipped with this knowledge and skill I sincerely hope that it helps you and that you pass it on to anyone else who may need it.

Look for my next post, where I will write about effective ways to restore and even improve your energy to help you live and maintain that higher frequency.

Have a great day, and happy shielding. 🧘🏻‍♂️😎🤙

When it’s time to be selfish

This summer has been amazing.  It’s been relaxing, exciting and fun, with some small periods of stress sprinkled in the mix.  Two bachelor parties out of state, two stags I helped throw, one wedding including the best man’s speech for my twin bro (yes, I have a twin, and yes, my speech was phenomenal), and to top it off, some serious improvements on myself.  Oh yeah.  BIG TIME improvements. To the naked eye, they may not be as big, but to me, they’ve represented a shift in my viewpoint of what being happy truly means.  And you know what that is, being God damn selfish (sorry Mom I know you hate when I curse). Let me explain.

My entire life I have been a people pleaser.  I am a “go with the flow” type person, super laid back, the type to want to just have good vibes and avoid conflict.  Growing up this turned me into a “Yes man”, always wanting to do the right thing, to never let the other person down, to seek that sense of approval.  I think this view also represents the current state of a majority of people who use social media.  We are always seeking some type of validation for our posts, whether its on our main feed, our stories, whatever the case may be.  I myself also fall into this mix, and throughout my adult life, I’ve restrained from some of the posts I may or may not have put because I was afraid that it wouldn’t get that “approval” I was subconsciously seeking.   I don’t know what finally switched, it could have been a variety of factors, but sometime during the last few months, heck even the last year, I started being selfish.  Selfish with my thoughts.  Selfish with my communication.  Selfish with my time. Selfish with what I would say “Yes” too. Selfish with what I would post. Everything.

Here’s what I started to notice.  Freedom.  Freedom from the people who would take advantage of me. Freedom from my thoughts of any self-doubt.  Freedom from the opinion of others.  Freedom from the forced validation and competition of social media.  I started actually LIVING for me. No fear. No competition. Just doing what was right and best for ME. And in doing this, some of my passions that have been “dormant” or almost “hiding” have started to reemerge.  New passion and career paths have started to motivate me to new goals. I’m excited at everything I plan to accomplish within the next five years.

Heck, even in writing this, I feel back to my true creative self. I started this small blog because one I always wanted to help people, but two, because I LOVE TO FUCKING WRITE (sorry again Mom but the “f” word was needed in that sentence). So here I am again, being selfish in not only this blog post, but in how I’m spending my Sunday afternoon. I’m eating a salad, I’m drinking a seltzer, and I’m sharing my thoughts with the world (or to the 20 people who actually decide to read this), and yes, I couldn’t be happier.

Peace be the journey,

-Derek

(Always have to throw in a movie reference) 🤙

Just a normal Sunday, or so I thought…

But if you push that anxiety and fear away for just a few minutes, the universe can surprise you with something special.

The universe works in mysterious ways.  It can truly work in our favor if we let it, and this morning was a perfect example of that for me.

Sunday morning is one of my favorite times of the week.  I sleep in, (which for me, and many other teachers, is to about 8:00 a.m.), then get up and drink a big glass of water.  I perform some light stretches to get my body up and moving then head to the gym where I dedicate a couple hours to mobility work, a full body workout, foam rolling, finished by a quick session in the sauna and hot tub.  This time is amazing for me.  I blast my music and get lost into another world.  Anyone who works out consistently can attest to the addiction of finding and staying in this zone.  What sets today apart is what happened and who I met after my workout was over.

Walking into the hot tub at a gym can be a scary experience for some.  The anxiety of sharing a tub of water and jets with strangers can be pretty intimidating, and I understand that.  But if you push that anxiety and fear away for just a few minutes, the universe can surprise you with something special.

Today as I was walking in the hot tub there was a man already inside, who smiled and greeted me, “hello” as soon as I entered.  I greeted him back with a hello, and a routine, “Nice and hot today!” before sitting down next to one of the jets.  The man continued to talk to me, including telling me his age, 75 years old, and how it wasn’t fun to be old while stating how much pain he is currently dealing with in his back.  If you don’t know me or my story, (scroll up to read “Heart of a Lion”, my first blog post about my health journey), I am also a person who has struggled and still deals with chronic pain.  Instead of writing this complete stranger off, I opened up to him and briefly summed up my health journey.  I then told him about chiropractors, physical therapists, massages, trigger points, mobility exercises, breathing, dry needling, cupping, anything I knew off that helped with back pain I was listing it off to him.  He was very receptive to my advice, and asked questions about people and places I would recommend to get these treatments done.  He went on to state that the only care he is receiving for his pain is from an orthopedic doctor, who is currently prescribing him pain relievers and possibly surgery.  I offered him more advice about seeking these natural treatments first before getting surgery, as I am a big believer that surgeries ultimately cause more harm than good.  (I’ve had four surgeries in my lifetime and two on my knee and shoulder that could have been avoided if I didn’t fall into the hypnotic spell of the orthopedic surgeon and sought other options myself). He was receptive to my advice and assured me he was going to try some of these treatments in the coming month. What he went on to say next is what led me to write this post about this experience.  He looked me dead in the eye, with a huge smile, and thanked me for talking with him.  He told me that countless times in this gym he has tried to start conversations with people and they wrote him off.   We shook hands, formally introduced ourselves with our names, and exited the hot tub.

The entire conversation lasted roughly 10 minutes.  It could have easily been 10 minutes of silence, two men just relaxing in the hot tub, completely oblivious to the world and each other.  But it wasn’t that.  It was 10 minutes of two people being human.  It was 10 minutes of two people connecting.  It was 10 minutes that I am so deeply and incredibly grateful for experiencing today.

As you go through the rest of your day, week, month, I simply ask you to be a little more receptive to what or who the universe drops in front of you.  As I learned today, there are no coincidences.

You’re alive…

Good morning, and happy Sunday! The sun is shining (in Connecticut at least), you’re alive and you’re breathing, life is good.

Sometimes it’s these little things you need to remind yourself to be thankful for. Today was one of those mornings in which I had to do the same.

It’s been a while since I’ve wrote about my auto-immune diseases and even though I’ve made great strides this last year, today was a morning which one hit me square in the face. Last night I ended up eating some small treats, and despite them being gluten and nut free, it had milk and lots of sugar. If you’re not familiar with certain aspects of nutrition, sugar and dairy are the devil for people with auto-immune diseases. They are triggers of inflammation, and can cause flare-ups with certain people depending on how their bodies react to them. This morning as I woke up I knew immediately that I screwed up. My body was so stiff it took me 15 minutes longer to get out of bed. Once out of bed, I quickly saw both the back of my hands, my forearms, arms, and back had a large rash. In appearance it looks similar to that of a heat rash or hives, but for me it was a common symptom with those who have psoriatic arthritis. (One of the two auto-immune diseases I was diagnosed with two years ago).

After dropping the kids off at the pool (get it? 😂) and washing my face I went downstairs and had a large glass of water. (Drinking water right upon waking has tremendous benefits, and I will write a post about that soon). Once finishing hydrating myself I went into my stretching, foam rolling,and mobility exercises. Sunday are my days where I love to go to the gym and devote myself to a full body workout and this morning wasn’t going to stop me from that.

As I went through my workout I devoted more time spent between my exercises actively stretching to keep my joints and body fluid. This past year I’ve been blessed with a great team of chiropractors (Damato’s in Newington, CT) and physical therapists (John Odriscoll at Symmetry in Portland, CT) who have given me the tools and strategies to get stronger while focusing on building the core and maintaining proper form.

Once my workout was over, I hit the sauna, cooled off in the pool, then spent 5 more minutes in the hot tub. This felt great on my body and am so grateful I go to a gym that houses these.

As I’m writing this, my body, especially my joints feel amazing. The rash on my hands, arms and back is almost all gone, and I’m ready to tackle the rest of the day.

The point is, we all have moments where we will have setbacks in life. We can look at them as roadblocks, or challenges, the choice is ultimately ours. I pray that anyone reading this, especially those with auto-immune diseases, to not give up, to keep fighting, and keep winning the day. Remember, you’re alive, and breathing.

Arm me with ______.

Arm me with a voice.  Arm me with support.  Arm me with books.  Arm me with love.  Arm me with a broader understanding of the countless stressors these kids face in today’s society.  Arm me with politicians who are intelligent enough to realize guns are not the answer.  If arming me with a gun is your solution to the “mass school shootings epidemic” we are now living and teaching in, than you are part of the problem.

What recently transpired in Parkland, Florida was tragic, every mass shooting is.  But the answer politicians are proposing is seriously flawed.  There WAS a trained resource officer who was working on site that day at the school in Florida.  He WAS armed with the weapon that politicians suggest teachers should someday carry.  How that person reacted in that situation however is something that CAN NOT be predicted.  Seventeen people still lost their lives that day.  Who knows if the school resource officer would have been the 18th? That is not for me or us to say.  I will and cannot judge or criticize his actions as I have never been in a position similar to the one he was thrown into on February 14 of last week.  It is solely unfair to him or any of the school resource officers and security personnel across the nation who simply work hard day in and day out to help make our schools better and safer places.  But this is unfortunately a prime example of why arming staff in the Schools CAN NOT be the solution.

Countless reports have come out exclaiming the numerous times that the shooter exhibited “warning signs” prior to committing his heinous act. There were various reports from the schools he’s attended, different write ups from doctors, police reports, social media posts, and even threats that all showed signs of him venturing down a path of unspeakable violence. Even the FBI had a warning about him, and they did NOTHING! Doesn’t that anger you? It makes my damn blood boil. They had all the evidence to prevent this massacre from happening but did nothing to stop it. Or they simply did not take it serious enough but regardless, they could have. They should have been better. They need to be better. Everyone needs to be better. Teachers included.

We need to be better at recognizing the early signs of depression in our students, better at greeting and keeping positive relationships with them, better at teaching empathy and compassion in the classroom, better at working together with counselors and support staff when seeing at risk students. All of it needs to be better! Don’t we see that future lives depend on it?! I don’t need to sit around and wait for the next school shooting to happen to understand that this problem will keep continuing if we keep doing what we have always done! When will our nation’s leaders realize that more emphasis needs to be placed on improving our young students’ mental and social health far more than the current emphasis of receiving specific scores on these outdated standardized tests? All of it needs to change. And it starts from the top.

Arm me with a gun?

Nah,

ARM ME WITH CHANGE.

Tom Brady is the G.O.A.T.

Hating on Tom Brady is like hating on Captain America. You just can’t do it.

First off, let me just say I am NOT a Patriots fan.  Never was.  Never will be.  I need to point out that the team I root for is currently at the bottom of the NFL, however, is also the ONLY team to account for all of Tom Brady’s Super Bowl losses. (Thank you Tyree and Manningham).  But just because I cheer for a team who ISN’T the Pats (short for Patriots), doesn’t mean I don’t admire (secretly of course) a player who has revolutionized the sport in such a way that we may never see someone on the same level for years to come.

Tom Brady is the G.O.A.T.  And for you non-sports fans who don’t understand their acronyms, G.O.A.T. stands for “Greatest of all time”.  This isn’t a debate.  Never will be.  The proof is in the pudding. (or avocado ice cream).

Just look at his storybook life. The man is married to a smoking hot model, (who also happens to be one of the most famous and most successful supermodels of all time), has three beautiful children (2 with Giselle), a huge house, (or houses I should say), that are equipped with all the bells and whistles that any of us can only simply fantasize about, and a job that many of us now wish we could have the opportunity to perform.  He’s just the All-American guy.  He’s tall, handsome, rich and successful, which in America are statuses in which of those we despise.  Hating on Tom Brady is like hating on Captain America.  You just can’t do it.

He has 5 Super Bowl rings, and is currently closing in on number 6.  Six championship rings in ANY sport would be and IS an amazing accomplishment in itself, and only a couple of basketball hall of famers can currently call this feat their own.  But football is a much tougher sport to win championships in than basketball.  There are possessions in basketball where the star player never touches the ball.  In football, the quarterback touches the ball on EVERY single offensive play.  The window of error is so miniscule in comparison that a small mishap on any play can cost the entire team the game.  Yes, as fans we take for granted the level of skill it even takes a person to catch the ball from under center and then be ready to actually throw the ball downfield.  Or even the simple 3 or 5 step drop a quarterback has to make every play. (Not convinced it’s difficult? Try it at home when you have a minute.  Imagine the ball is under center and make believe you are a NFL QB. Say “hike”, and take 5 steps back as fast as you can.  Make sure you are looking up and not at your feet.  How long did it take you? Longer than 3 seconds? Guess what, your sacked.)  Then take into account being able to read the defense and make a split decision of where to throw the ball, all while being chased by the biggest and fastest players in the world.  And make sure you don’t mess up, because you have millions of fans watching worldwide whose actual levels of happiness depend on the outcome of your throw. And then you also have Bill Belichick’s death stare to worry about. Yikes.  It’s INSANE when you think about it, but Tom Brady makes it look EASY! (At 40 nevertheless!). When I’m 40 I hope I’ll just be able to run around and play a simple game of catch in the backyard with my future son. (Who will NOT be named Tom or Brady don’t worry)

This is where as a former collegiate athlete I strongly admire one of Tom Brady’s most underrated qualities as a player, his WORK ETHIC.  Tom Brady works harder than anyone else in football.  I don’t think anyone else comes close.  (Except the death stare guy). This work ethic and desire to be great doesn’t just happen overnight.  It burns deep in someone’s heart, especially an athlete’s heart, and tends to be unleashed when the odds are stacked against them.  This is and was no different for Brady.

He was drafted out of Michigan in the sixth round of the 2000 NFL draft.  Yes, the SIXTH round.  (There are only 7 rounds in the draft). Pick number 199.  198 players were selected before him, including six quarterbacks.  Do you think any of those quarterbacks had 1/10th the career that Brady had? Not even close.  But where he was chosen in the 2000 NFL draft helped set up a mindset for Tom that would elevate his game to the highest level, especially when it mattered.  Just look at last year.  Not just at the iconic Super Bowl game of his historic comeback from being down 28-3.  But the suspension of four games, the negativity of being accused of cheating, and having his entire legacy and integrity questioned for the world to see.  Many analysts and commentators thought this would tear down Brady, but it actually did the opposite.  It built him back up.  The “nobody wanted me at draft day” fire that continued to burn in his heart got hotter.  It motivated him to push his body, his mind, and his game even farther.  (Hence the avocado ice cream reference). At 39, he had one of the best seasons of his entire NFL career, only to cap off the greatest Super Bowl win in history.  And now at 40, he has no signs of slowing down, which to be honest, is quite scary (especially as a football fan of another team), but also downright motivating.

I think that’s why I admire Tom as much as I do.  He’s an inspiration, and every time he touches the field I can’t help but be thankful that I am able to witness his greatness.

In my last post, I wrote of how I wanted you to wake up the lion that was asleep in your heart.  Tom had awaken his a long time ago, and his success both on the field and in his personal life attribute to that.

So what I leave you with now is, when are you finally going to awaken yours?

(And just for the record, Go Eagles!)

(Shit. I can’t cheer for them either. Maybe the Super bowl will be a tie? Hey, “It can happen”. Boom. There’s the 90 movie reference!).